To say that The Grand Del Mar is truly a five-star resort is to risk understatement. The Grand Del Mar, like a masterpiece, overlooks no detail of craftsmanship and finery, its color palette a rich blend of golds, deep rose, terracotta, blues and greens. The property is imbued with not only elegance but also comfort throughout.

Modeled after 1920's architect Addison Mizner's predilection for romantic themes and Spanish and Moorish influences, the resort is reminiscent of the Spanish colonial palaces and architecture that were Mizner's lifelong passions.

The Grand Del Mar features an exotic mix of Spanish, Portuguese, Moroccan and Venetian design elements. Its elegance sets a new standard for luxury resorts, and not just in San Diego but, arguably, west of the Mississippi. That The Grand Del Mar retains its relaxed, home-like feel is further testament to architect Altevers' adaptation of Mizner's style. The fireplaces in the lobby, the bar, the library all evoke the feeling of being an honored guest at a friend's (opulent) country manor. When considering the holiday season, this luxurious comfort, this elegant familiarity, make The Grand Del Mar an ideal choice for gatherings large and small of family, friends and colleagues.

"Be Who You Are" was the theme Maria Shriver designated for this year's California Governor and First Lady's Conference on Women. As she addressed the crowd of 14,000 attendees, most of whom were women, and the additional 1 million viewers watching the streaming live broadcast on Californiawomen.org, she said:

"I myself am still learning how to be me and that's OK. It can take a really long time to become the person you really want to be. Be who you are. It's the greatest gift we can give to ourselves, our community and our world."

Paige Donner: How can women prepare to be leaders, to be the 'Architects of Change' that you are encouraging us to be?

Maria Shriver: First they have to get to know themselves. That's very important. The most important thing we can tell young people is not to be an imitation of somebody else. That their life is special. They are the creator of their life and their way and find something that they enjoy doing that doesn't even feel like work. It feels like a passion. And then just by doing that and bringing that to the world, they become architects of change.

When I say 'architect of change,' I feel that starts at your own dinner table, your own home. Whether that's speaking up in your job or asking for a promotion or saying, 'I think I can do that.' Using your voice in ways that might initially scare you. That can be being an architect of change.

I don't think you have to go out and become Secretary of State or be Bono but I think it's to let people know that whatever they do in their life that that's good.

PD: How can women begin to engage with their community as a leader?

Maria Shriver: You can go onto Californiavolunteers.org which gives you simple and accessible ways to be of service. We have 50-60,000 service opportunities posted up there every day. The first thing is to just step outside your own life. Go and find some place where you're needed.

There are so many places, particularly right now. Go and volunteer at a food bank. Our food banks around the country are empty. We've asked people to come here and bring food to this conference. Stock a food bank. If you play the piano, go play the piano in an Alzheimer's home. Or read in an Alzheimer's home. Help a military family with babysitting. The opportunities are endless. People often think 'They want me?' or 'I can be of help?' What we try to say here is 'Be who you are.' Feel that, live it and pass it on.

But can the Border Girls tell stories about Julia! They recall, "Julia was one of the most incredible personalities. I learned so much from her. How to treat people. How to really engage. She never met a person she didn't engage with. I saw her once at the Culinary Institute in Pasadena where literally hundreds of students were coming up to her and she didn't miss one. She was a great inspiration in making people around her feel comfortable," comments Milliken, who acknowledges that, after all, it is the hospitality industry.

"We did one of the shows with her. Well, we did a number of shows with her but this particular one we were filming at Mary Sue's house...so for two days we'd get up at 5 a.m. and get there and start filming and we'd film all day and she was there and she'd be on her computer and then we'd break for lunch...and this was probably when she was 75 years old or so...and she'd be throwing the ball to her dog while she typed away on her computer. By 5 in the afternoon we'd have a beer and then we'd end up going to her hotel room where she'd have a piano player where we'd have a cocktail and then we'd go to Border Grill where we'd have dinner and then at about 11:30 at night she'd say, 'Okay, where to next?!' and by then the rest of us would be tired!" recalls Feniger.

"She was one of the easiest people to co-host with because she was so warm, and she knew food!" adds Milliken who admits that on occasions such as those, when businesswoman-celebrity chef/restaurateur necessitates 20 hour days, it is ideal that her architect-husband can be around to look after their elementary school-age kids.

Paige Donner: How easy is it to green a restaurant? And, more importantly, the tastes of your clientele?

Mary Sue and Susan:  "It's an incredible challenge for the chefs to take customers out and away from the regular tuna, salmon and swordfish, for example," admits Feniger.

"Well, we've always been a little rebellious in that way. Take them out of their comfort zone just a little bit. Just get the customer to try something new," says Milliken, who can tell you stories of "tricking" their first diners at City Cafe on Melrose into trying lamb's tongue salad. "They always thought it was marinated mushrooms, sliced marinated mushrooms, when we'd make them guess," recounts Feniger. "And then no one would believe that they'd eaten lamb's tongue!" It was all part of their "tail to head, sustainable, 'waste no part of the animal philosophy,' back then," explains Milliken, with a smile.

Here are some of Ciudad's Eco-friendly practices:

- Sustainable Seafood only as part of the Monterey Bay Aquarium Seafood Watch Program. Their star fish is Arctic char, which tastes a lot like salmon.
- Organic long-grain rice, black beans, eggs, milk, coffee, veen, lamn and uncured port raised without hormones and antibiotics.
- Serves no tuna or swordfish as part of Oceana's Stop Seafood Contamination campaign.
- Serves no Canadian seafood as part of Humane Society's Protect Seals Campaign.
- Uses Natura water purification system. The reusable bottles means no transporting of bottled water around the world. www.naturawater.com

www.marysueandsusan.com